


Still Into You

by quirky_turtle



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Songfic, Tumblr request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 11:36:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8247338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirky_turtle/pseuds/quirky_turtle
Summary: Spencer looks back on your relationship before making an important decision. Based on "Still Into You" by Paramore. Told in Spencer's POV.





	

Y/N and I had been together for years. I loved her with everything I had. I didn’t know it was possible to feel love like this. My mother had read me stories of heroes, of tragedy, of the greatest love of all time. I only believed that kind of love could exist in stories. 

But, after meeting Y/N and having the privilege to know her all these years, it was impossible to not believe. 

I know I should have done this years ago, but I was nervous. 

“Y/N?” I pause the TV and turn to look at her.

“What’s up, Spencer?” she asked. One look into her E/C eyes, and I was dragged into memory lane. I could see our past together. 

~*~*~*~*~

_ I had just entered college and I was having a difficult time adjusting. Moving so far away from my mother and barely being a teenager on campus was a huge adjustment. The counseling center had suggested I tutor at the nearby middle school to get acquainted with kids my own age. I almost balked at the idea. The last thing I needed was to be around kids my own age. Weren’t they the ones that hated me for my IQ and how awkward I could be?  _

_ Well, he insisted that I at least try it.  _

_ That was how I ended up teaching Y/N L/N algebra.  _

_ “When you’re factoring, you can use the FOIL method. Multiple the first values, then the outside, the inside, then the last ones.” I tried to explain it slowly as I wrote out the solution.  _

_ “Oh my god. That makes so much sense.” she sighed, “Why couldn’t my teacher have explained it like that?”  _

_ I shrugged, not sure what to say.  _

_ “Thank you so much! I owe you!” she hugged me quickly, catching me off guard.  _

_ “Uh… it’s no problem. Really. It’s been fun tutoring you.” I smiled nervously, “Now that you’re all caught up, I guess you don’t need to meet me anymore.”  _

_ She shook her head quickly, “Uh-huh. Spence, I’ve loved hanging out with you over the past few weeks. You aren’t getting rid of me that quickly.” she grinned and grabbed her books together, “Hey, do you want to come to my house for dinner?”  _

_ I felt my eyes widen at her invitation, “Like with your family?”  _

_ “Yeah, they’d love to meet you. And my cousin has told me how much college food sucks.” she grinned wider, “Come on? We can walk to my house now.”  _

_ I nodded quickly.  _

_ Dinner went well. Her family was so kind and accepting. Dinner with them became a weekly event.  _

_ Y/N asked me on a date not too long after.  _

_ ~*~*~*~*~ _

_ I slowly sat down on the couch. She barely acknowledged me. All I got was a sniffle.  _

_ I sighed deeply. We had another fight.  _

_ After a few minutes of silence, I carefully grabbed her hand. She sniffled once again, then looked up at me.  _

_ When our eyes locked, I knew that we would be okay. We were always okay.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” I sighed, gently squeezing her hand.  _

_ “I’m sorry too.” she gave me a small smile.  _

_ Even after all these years, it still made my heart race. _

~*~*~*~*~

_ “Alright, Pretty Boy.” Morgan grinned at me teasingly, “How long have you been with your girl?”  _

_ “Since we were thirteen.” I answered. It was almost ten years now. We had taken some breaks over the years, but we almost always found our way back to one another. Nearly half of my life was spent with her, and I wouldn’t have it anyother way. _

_ “Thirteen? You were just blushing as you talked to her on the phone? Shouldn’t the honeymoon phase be over now?” he teased me. I was pretty new to the team, and Agent Morgan already took to teasing me. _

_ I looked down nervously, “I still get this fluttering feeling in my stomach every time I look at her. _

_ “Awww.” Garcia, our tech analyst, walked in, “You still get butterflies? That’s adorable.”  _

_ “You’re still into her after all this time.” Morgan laughed and shook his head slightly. _

_ ~*~*~*~*~ _

_ I messed up. Badly.  _

_ First, I lost Y/N. Another stupid fight caused by me. It was all my fault and I was too stubborn to go after her. This was it. There was no magic pull that led me back to her. It had been months. I lost her forever. _

_ Then, I let myself get kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. He drugged me and I became addicted. I stole the remaining drugs from his corpse, but that could only satisfied my hunger for so long. I needed more. _

_ The dilaudid was a sweet pain. It brought her back to me, but only for a short time. When the psychedelic effects wore off, I would wake up. Cold and alone. The phantom sound of her laughter recreated by my memories still ringing in my ear.  _

_ I heard the pounding as I injected the needle into my arm again. I ignored it, however. Desperate to get away. I needed to run from the pain Tobias left me with and run into her arms. Even if it was all in my head.  _

_ Y/N ran into my room. Strange. Usually the drugs need longer to take affect. _

_ Even stranger, she was crying. My  Y/N never cries. It’s all smiles and laughter.  _

_ Everything slowly faded into black as I was pulled into my own memories.  _

_ When I awoke, I wasn’t alone or cold. I was in my bed. Y/N was still there, sitting besides me. Just reading. _

_ Was I still high? Was there still dilaudid in my veins? Why else would she be there?  _

_ I looked to my left and saw that my supplies were gone. No more needles. No more vials of my torturous bliss.  _

_ “W-why are you here?” I asked, slowly sitting up. I must have startled her, because she jumped.  _

_ She gave me a watery smile and shrug, “I guess I’m still into you.”  _

_ I quickly pulled her to me in a hug, not caring how I looked or that she was seeing me at my absolute worst. She was back. She was truly back this time.  _

_ With her by my side, I didn’t need dilaudid anymore.  _

 

~*~*~*~*~

_ I had finally taken Y/N to meet my mother. She had begged to meet her for so long, but I was always hesitant. Me explaining my mother’s medical condition would be different than Y/N actually experiencing it first hand.  _

_ It clearly went bad.  _

_ My mother was having one of her ‘bad days’. I knew I shouldn’t have Y/N to meet her. What if she wanted to leave me now? What if she was afraid that I would end up like my mother? I know I am.  _

_ We drove in silence for a long time, having decided to visit her family in Pasadena as well.  _

_ “Spencer, I love you.” her voice was soft, “I always will. Nothing will ever change that.”  _

_ I felt the weight fall off my shoulders at her words.  _

_ She grabbed my hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel and squeezed it.  _

_ I chanced a quick look in her direction before looking at the road again.  _

_ “L- is for the way you look at me.” she sang quietly. It was my favorite song, and she knew it. She didn’t know that half the reason I loved it was because I loved hearing her sing it.  _

_ “O- is for the only one I see.” I responded, squeezing her hand back.  _

_ ~*~*~*~*~ _

“Spencer?” I heard her voice again, calling me away from my memories. 

“Y’N. Somethings just make sense because there is logic behind it. Like, why the sky is blue, and why Star Trek is better than Star Wars.” I took a deep breath, “There are things that don’t make sense, even with logic behind it. Like how Twilight is well liked and popular.” 

You laughed at the disgust that crossed my face. 

“However,” I continued, “There are things that have no logic behind it, but just makes sense. Like you and me.” 

I kissed the back of Y/N’s hand. She smiled at me adoringly, giving me the courage I needed to push through. 

“Morgan sometimes wonders how we could have made it this far. I say, let him wonder, because I don’t need to.” I chuckled softly, before I became serious again. “Y/N, I have been with you for 58.8% of my life. If I live to be one hundred, I want to die having been with you for 87% of my life. Will you marry me?” 

She looked shocked, but she tackled me back onto the couch, pressing her lips against mine. 

I grinned as I pulled away, “I take it that’s a yes?” 

She giggled and shrugged, “What can I say? I’m still into you.” 


End file.
